A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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