Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize