Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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