New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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