I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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