And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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