youre lurking in front of me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
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I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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