normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
