A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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