Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
love makes seman taste better
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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