I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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