Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.