you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
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We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
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There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites