You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night