I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
