from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize