areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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