after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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