you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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