i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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