ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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