oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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