When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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