but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
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i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
As shirtless as possible
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
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i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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