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it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
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