Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left