I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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