All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
