Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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