lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize