I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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