the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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