I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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