please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Terrible idea I love it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
