Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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