three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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