Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.