I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.