i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.