i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online