forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
