he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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