We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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