I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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