I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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