this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
