he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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