OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
