Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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