After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
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It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
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be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate