It's Friday. Sex?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
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Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone