talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.