Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize