Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
