O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
