I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
